On the last day of February, Maggie dog passed away at age eleven.
When my best friend Matt and I were roommates, Matt fostered Maggie first, then adopted her a couple of days later. Maggie was a rescued puppy. Her previous owner dumped her on a hot street in New Mexico when she was six months old. When I first met Maggie, I just couldn’t believe that someone would throw her away like that. Maggie was the sweetest, cutest, and well-behaved Golden Retriever.
For the following three years, Maggie was an integral part of my life.
During those years, I was experiencing very severe depression. Every day was a huge challenge for me. I struggled to get off my bed every morning. At nights I would have insomnia and my mind was bombarded with all the negative thoughts of self-hating and self-blaming. I didn’t have any motivation or interest in life. I was overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and there was no way out.
One afternoon I was sitting in the living room hunched over. Maggie was about a year old. I felt extremely lonely and depressed like the world and everything was against me and no one cared. I looked up and Maggie was sitting right in front of me with her big smile. I sat down on the floor and hugged Maggie and she hugged me back by snooding her head on my shoulder and neck. For such a young dog, she stayed in that position and comforted me. For the rest of the afternoon, she lay by my side and accompanied me, providing solace for my depression.
Around that time, I had just started my recovery path with Dr. Lisa Strober. The therapy sessions with Dr. Strober were amazing and healing, and at the same time exhausting, often opening up more challenging thoughts and emotions. Whenever I would come back home after therapy sessions, Maggie definitely sensed something was off. Instead of being jumpy and wanting to play, she would simply sit next to me and provide reassurance and comfort.
As part of my mental health healing process, I started training for marathons. When Maggie was old enough, I would take her out on long runs multiple times a week for months. She loved running and playing with other dogs and humans at Stanly Lake, a reservoir on my running route. As I was watching happiness shining out of Maggie as she was playing, she gave me joy and hope about life.
Maggie’s death was very difficult for me. I thought Maggie would be around forever like she was there for me when I was battling with my depression. What Maggie has taught me is to mourn the death by celebrate the living. Her presence granted me hope and belief in life and happiness. So, if you have a pet(s), please go give them extra big hugs and many more kisses.
Goodbye Maggie!
Fun Facts about Maggie
- Maggie is the only dog that Lola would cuddle with (pic above).
- Maggie wasn’t allowed to be on the couch and bed. However, when Matt wasn’t around, I would let Maggie on the couch and we would cuddle.
- Often times I would find long blonde hair on my bed. That meant Maggie had snuck into my room and napped on my bed.
- Whenever I saw Maggie at Matt’s and my place or at holiday dinners, she would always sit or lay down right next to me and follow me everywhere. Because she knew that I would give her lots of belly rubs and snacks.
- Maggie had a tickling spot on her right cheek. Even when she was older, if you scratched that spot, her mouth would turn into what I called the “Elvis singing mouth.” Very goofy looking…
- When I was actively dating, Maggie was a really good “wing woman” that would help to start conversations with people.
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